All I ever craved was clarity.

A roadmap, perhaps, to understand this vast universe that felt so alien to me.

There were days when the very fabric of reality seemed to slip between my fingers, causing me to float away from the tangible into an abyss of abstraction.

There was always comfort in numbers for me. The symphony of equations, the tactile nature of calculus, the steady rhythm of logic – it all made sense. The world was a puzzle, and math held all the pieces. Yet, the deeper I ventured, metaphysics, a new although an old friend, the more I felt disconnected from the world around me.

It was as if the equations were a lifeline, but they anchored me to a different reality, far from the warmth of human touch or the ache of a breaking heart. So, in a quest to reconnect, I ventured into the worlds of biology.

Unlike the abstract beauty of math, biology pulsed with the visceral essence of life. Through microscopes, I saw the dance of cells, the miracle of birth, the finality of death. While math showed me the rhythm of the world, biology let me feel its heartbeat. This time I was connected again; for a longer time. Watching life ebb and flow, I was constantly reminded of the fragility of existence. Especially when those I loved, like my mother and grandmother, brushed shoulders with mortality. It made me question my place in the universe, the choices I had made, and the life I could have lived.

Would things be different if I had been born elsewhere?

In a land where survival wasn't the primary goal, where being a doctor like my mom wasn't an act of heroism, and where heroes didn't battle cancer?

Perhaps, in another life, I would be engrossed in mathematical theorems, reveling in the mysteries of physics, a scholar charting her own course. Life's trajectory is often swayed by the slightest winds, be they gentle breezes or raging storms.

One decision,

One circumstance,

One moment...

Can set us on a path unimaginably different from another. And while it's intriguing to wonder about the roads not taken, it's the journey we're on that shapes us.

Through math and biology, through love and loss, I've learned that while we may not always have control over our destiny, we can always choose how we embrace it.